Friday, September 10, 2010

Jones And Obama, Sittin' In A Tree...

I try to avoid the news. Mostly because it's moronic. Stupid people reporting what other stupid people are doing. And it seems to get more lowbrow by the day. Watching the news can make you feel embarrassed to be human. It doesn't get much worse than that. And this week's top story is really bad.

First off you have this Yosemite Sam lookin' preacher dude down south (Terry Jones) spoutin' that he's gonna "burn them Ko-rans!". Yeah? So what? Southern preachers are doing dumb shit all the time. It's not news. But this time the world media flocks to Florida like this nut job means something. Hit the pause button. This guy has a humongous congregation of fifty people. I didn't say fifty thousand, I said fifty. 5-0. Give me a break, we've got that many in our fantasy league. This bozo wants some attention and the media schmucks fall over themselves abiding his narcissism. Ridiculous.

Next we have the President. Our president. The leader of the free world, commenting on this yahoo on Good Morning America. Now we've written before of the Commander-in-chief's seemingly insatiable appetite for the camera, but a morning show? Good grief. Why does he do it? And then he get's it wrong to boot. Mr. President, grow a pair already. The reporter asks you about the situation. Don't shiver in your boots and tell us how he's gonna make all the terrorists mad and want to hurt our soldiers. Jiminy Christmas. Maybe a better tact would have been to comment how you figured the decent people of the middle east are smart enough to know that some jerk burnin' books in a trailer park down south does not represent the feelings of our whole country. That they should take no more offense than we do when their radicals march down the streets burning the American flag. But to indicate that we are somehow concerned or afraid of what they think at any given moment is a sign of weakness. And frankly, if those are your true feelings, take care of this chump. You are the President, I'm sure you've the resources to make this idiot go away. And if you don't, hand it off to the labor unions that voted you in. They're good at that sort of thing. Besides, they owe us for bailing out GM.

And Mr. Jones? With all do respect...fuck off. We don't burn books in America you ass. Hitler pretty much set the low bar on that activity. And who are you to start a battle that you expect the rest of us to fight? You low-life coward. The Koran is a good book. It is meant to offer guidance and peace of mind to it's followers, much like our Bible. The crazed actions of fundamentalist Muslims are not the result of that book's teachings any more than the hypocritical acts of fundamentalist Christians are the fault of the Bible. It's the so-called ayatollahs and church leaders like yourself inciting their flocks that cause most of the trouble in this world. If you spent a little more time reading the Good Book and a lot less time scamming your followers for tax free dollars, you might not have time to embarrass the rest of us so much. Just ask yourself what Jesus would have done. Pretty sure he wasn't wasting time setting scrolls on fire. The Bible, Koran, Torah, Book of Morman, Tripitaka. They all encourage the reader to do the right thing and in your case, that would be to crawl back under whatever rock you came from. And you'd better hurry before all those scary foreigners 'tie you to the car and drag ya' (mandatory American Graffiti reference).

Now back to our regular scheduled programming.