Thursday, June 24, 2010

Is Candy Clark Illegal Now Too?

Today a new law goes into effect banning candy cigarettes. The rational given by the FDA is that 22% of smokers ate them as children and just 14% of non-smokers did. So, the government deduced that that 8 point spread required yet another law, with the supposed effect of reducing the amount of children who go on to smoke as adults. Surely a good intention but questionable in the execution. Is candy against the law? No. So this law sets a precedent that although the substance is legal, it is the shape of the sweet that makes it contraband. So the Food & Drug Administration that was created to make sure that food and medicine that is sold to the American public is safe for consumption, has now expanded it's concerns to the way something looks?

This could be great news. Cause I hate the way some of the stuff you eat looks. There's the obvious, pickled pigs feet look disgusting. And you know, children that eat them may grow up to develop foot fetishes. And those kielbasas? Who knows where that leads? Perhaps the rise in the rainbow coalition relates to us teaching our young sons to eat giant sausages. The same logic could be applied to our daughters and the tremendous popularity of munching tacos. Maybe the FDA is onto something here. And why stop at food?

Again the obvious, playing with toy knives and guns that look like the real thing almost assuredly lead to a life of crime. Ban 'em! Future Farmers of America? Sorry, that fertilizer and tractor fuel you use look remarkably like... well, fertilizer and tractor fuel. Statistics show that as you mature you'll likely feel the need to use these tools to blow shit up. Gotta go! And Hot Wheels, models and cool lookin' toy cars will teach you to ignore speed limits. No more!

In fact hot rods look like they go fast, and going fast is against the law, so.... See where I'm at with this? Absurd you say? Maybe at this time. But how many choices do you let the government make for you? Or take from you? Because once they make that decision it is no longer yours to make. They never give it back.

I'm not an alarmist, a conservative or even a republican. I just believe that I can raise my children, and make my own choices as to what I eat, better than some civil servant in Washington that more than likely spent a large part of his childhood in a dark room reading comic books and avoiding the bullies at recess. If the FDA doesn't want children to grow up to smoke, they should ban tobacco products, not candy. Show some balls. If not, they should leave us alone, they're just messing things up. And if we continue to allow this chipping away at our freedom's foundation, our children, who hopefully don't smoke, will be living under the same tyranny that caused our forefathers to start this America business in the first place. God, please save us from ourselves.